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Oh, The Pain of Wanting To Be Special

from Belong by Adhamh Roland

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lyrics

Ours are all stories of triumph
Of the good ones coming out on the top
Of a protagonist and maybe a sidekick
A heroine who cannot be stopped

It’s no wonder I wanna be the star of this here myth
It’s no wonder I want you think I’m someone who couldn’t possibly exist
And oh the pain of wanting to be special
And oh to try and measure the immeasurable
And oh to try and own the sky with a jar of air
And no I am not special, my worthiness lives everywhere

I want to know all of your secrets
And be different than all of the rest
I wanna slip into where no one has been
If only to be known as the best

It’s no wonder I can’t stop thinking about you incessantly
It’s no wonder we take love so damn personally
And oh the pain of wanting to be special
And of to identify with the ephemeral
And oh to try and own the sky with a jar of air
And no I am not special, my worthiness lives everywhere

I want to be liked and remembered
For all the good stuff that I’ve said and done
I don’t want to admit that when I take a shit
That it stinks just like everyone’s

It’s no wonder it’s hard to love the parts of you I don’t love in me
It’s no wonder I want you to think I’m someone I couldn’t possibly be
And oh the pain of wanting to be special
And oh to try and partition the inseparable
And oh to try and own the sky with a jar of air
And no I am not special, my worthiness lives everywhere

credits

from Belong, released August 5, 2023

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Adhamh Roland Berkeley, California

“Frighteningly clever and disarmingly heartfelt folksongs” -Examiner.com

Adhamh Roland is a genderqueer visionary activist who sings about resilience, human experience, evolution, interconnectedness and freedom from cycles of violence and oppression. ... more

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