1. |
Welcome
02:45
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Welcome the doubt, welcome the faith
Welcome the love, welcome the hate
Welcome the peace, welcome the war
I know you can’t leave til you come through that door
Chorus:
There is no hope
There is no fear
You’re free to come and go
Everything’s welcome here
Welcome the stillness, welcome the strong winds
When I open up that means I’m letting it all in
Welcome the heavens, welcome the hells
It’s not where I’m going, it’s here where this heart dwells
You come from the beginningless, you go to the beginningless
I have nothing to do with this, but I have the choice
To welcome you with kindness, welcome you with tenderness
Welcome your comings and your goings and your in-betweens
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2. |
Futures That Don't Pass
03:35
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You are not you and you never have been
I was dreaming a future and it came and it went
And it never was, and it never will be
Yes, futures that don’t pass are all that I grieve
I’m sorry I built you up so big in my mind,
But when this heart gets started it’d like there’s no wasting time
And there never was, and there never will be
Yes, when this heart stays open, no time’s wasted on me
Chorus:
But how do I say goodbye, when I never said hello
And who are you anyway cuz I never got to know
And it never started, so it can’t be over
And what are tears when there’s nothing to cry over
Well, I am not me and I never have been
I’m a dream I awake to every morning
And I never was, and I never will be
Not that dream in your dream, this dream dreamt I would be
We are not an us, and we never have been
I was dreaming a future and it came and it went
And it never was, and it never will be
Yes, futures that don’t pass are all that I grieve
And it never was, and it never will be
Yes, futures that don’t pass are all that I grieve
Yes, futures that don’t pass are all that I grieve
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3. |
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Ours are all stories of triumph
Of the good ones coming out on the top
Of a protagonist and maybe a sidekick
A heroine who cannot be stopped
It’s no wonder I wanna be the star of this here myth
It’s no wonder I want you think I’m someone who couldn’t possibly exist
And oh the pain of wanting to be special
And oh to try and measure the immeasurable
And oh to try and own the sky with a jar of air
And no I am not special, my worthiness lives everywhere
I want to know all of your secrets
And be different than all of the rest
I wanna slip into where no one has been
If only to be known as the best
It’s no wonder I can’t stop thinking about you incessantly
It’s no wonder we take love so damn personally
And oh the pain of wanting to be special
And of to identify with the ephemeral
And oh to try and own the sky with a jar of air
And no I am not special, my worthiness lives everywhere
I want to be liked and remembered
For all the good stuff that I’ve said and done
I don’t want to admit that when I take a shit
That it stinks just like everyone’s
It’s no wonder it’s hard to love the parts of you I don’t love in me
It’s no wonder I want you to think I’m someone I couldn’t possibly be
And oh the pain of wanting to be special
And oh to try and partition the inseparable
And oh to try and own the sky with a jar of air
And no I am not special, my worthiness lives everywhere
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4. |
Belong
03:47
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I/you/we belong to this/your/our body/bodies
I belong to this earth
I belong I belong I belong
With all of my dignity, all of my worth
I belong I belong I belong
I belong to this family, to this tree of life
I belong I belong I belong
There’s nothing no one can do to untie these ties
I belong I belong I belong
I am not the worst thing that I’ve ever done
I’m not the ways I think I might be bothering someone
I am not better than, less than or equal
People are people
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5. |
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The biggest shame in living
Is forgetting I am dying
I hate to say it but I wake up sometimes and forget that I am living
It’s as if I have already died
And I hate to say it but I move through life sometimes
In the trance of the living dead
It’s as if I am not alive
And every step I take from this place
I take for granted
When I learned you weren’t walking this earth with us
That’s when I felt my feet the loudest
And every breath I take from this place
I take in vein
Of each ancestor that made it so
Of the violet and the tree frog and the freshly fallen snow
And the biggest gift in living
Is remembering I am dying
To feel the ache of the hardwood
To smell the dry dirt to greet the robin
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6. |
Ancestor Song
03:48
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I don’t wanna write a new song
I wanna learn the old songs
From a time that seems long gone
From a land that seems long gone
I don’t wanna write a new story
I wanna learn the old stories
So I got something to share
When I’ve got kin upon my knee
I don’t wanna write a new one
You did what you had to do
The horrors that you got through
Sacrificed the old songs
Sacrificed the stories too
Sacrificed the language
Sacrifices the old ways
Taken from the lands of your births
And of our ancestors graves
I don’t wanna write a new song
It was a cheap bribe
I call them sacrifices
You spared our lives
But not without the price of whiteness
I don’t wanna write a new song
But how do we explain this
To ourselves and to our young
And how do we change this
Without some ancient wisdom
And how do we scratch the surface of the debt
To which we owe you
And the countless beings who’s suffering
We tacitly approve(d)
I gotta write a new song
I gotta write a new song
To heal this amnesia
You’re asking me to sing for you
You’re asking me to grieve ya
Here I am writing a new song
Far from being an old bard
I’m weaving old and new prayers
Casting them to unknown bone yards
Here we are writing a new story
I still wanna learn the old stories
So I got something to share
When I’ve got kin upon my knee
I gotta write a new song
I still wanna learn the old songs
From a you that seems long gone
From a time that seems long gone
I’ve gotta learn the old songs
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7. |
God Sends The Wound
03:28
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God sends the wound
God is the wound
God is wounded
God heals the wound
-words from an unknown to me Greek healing sect
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8. |
Ease Up The Reins
03:19
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Ease up the reins on your heart on your heart on your
Ease up the reins you’re so hard on your heart
Oh baby, oh sweet baby, oh baby you’re okay
Oh baby, oh sweet baby, oh baby you’re okay
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9. |
Bigger Than Love
03:30
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She likes the yoke and I like the white
I’ll meet her in that field beyond wrong and right
I’ve made her into something that she can never be
I’ve turned her into You when You are everything
To do the things that I don’t want but I know are true
Are perhaps the bravest things that I cold ever do
So higher power hold me and this quivering heart
Closeness means nothing when you and I are far apart
Chorus
Cuz I need a love that’s bigger than love
And I need a strength that’s stronger than us
I need a faith that can hold the heartache and fear
So I’m falling for you Spirit and you’ll take it from here
She’s been disappointed and sorry I’ve been
But there’s something that knows I’m enough just as I am
So I won’t let the shoulds or coulds plague this mind no more
I’m just sorry I didn’t let your love in long before
There’s still that voice that tells me I’m living for her approval
But there’s one that’s getting louder saying I’m ok no matter what I do though
What a world to know this deep in myself
And that if it’s true for me it must be true for everybody else
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10. |
Be It
01:46
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I’m done talking about it
I’d rather live it
I’m done believing in it
I’d rather be it
And when it comes down to it
It’s the motion of the ocean
It’s not the moon that rocks this boat
That’s just the source of its devotion
Dooo doo doo
I get lost in the words
Without the breath that makes em so
So busy talking fast
‘Bout how I wanna go slow
And when it comes down to it
It’s how I meet any moment
Not the content but the backdrop
Not the wave but the whole ocean
Dooo doo doo
The thing with singing about it
Is that I’m singing
The thing with living about it
Is that I’m living
And no one has to tell you
What you already know
They just pluck that dusty chord
That resounds through your whole soul
Dooo doo doo
I’m done talking about it
I’d rather live it
I’m done believing in it
I’d rather be it
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11. |
Let The Spirit In Too
03:43
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May I/you look for the beauty, may it look for me
May I lean toward the glory, and the reverie/gratitude
May the silence come easy
May the laughter come strong
May the music ring out loud
May the music ring out long
And when the pain comes around
Like its bound to do
May I open up to it and let the spirit in too
May I wake in the morning
May I sleep the night through
And to each simple pleasure
May I say that will do
May I be happy for no reason
And for every reason at all
May love flow freely
With wisdom and awe
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Adhamh Roland Berkeley, California
“Frighteningly clever and disarmingly heartfelt folksongs” -Examiner.com
Adhamh Roland is
a genderqueer visionary activist who sings about resilience, human experience, evolution, interconnectedness and freedom from cycles of violence and oppression.
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